Praise the Lord for Godly Women -- 5/10/09

Sunday, May 10, 2009

PRAISE THE LORD FOR GODLY WOMEN
Prov. 31:10-31

I said Wednesday evening that we would be looking at Esau and Jacob this morning. Change of plan. Lord willing, that will be our subject next week (be reading Gen. 25 and 27). But today I am going to take some time to speak about wives. I think it is safe to say that all of you ladies are wives, have been wives, or hope to be wives.

As I was thinking about wives, a couple of possible ideas came to my mind as to how I might approach this subject. We could just look at Genesis 27, which tells us of how Rebekah helped Jacob trick his father into giving the primary blessing to Jacob instead of Esau. We could read the story and then say to you wives, “Don’t be like Rebekah, because she played favorites among her children.” In reality, I don’t know of any of you who have a great struggle with that. I see mothers who love all of their children.

I might follow the lead of a young man I knew. In many ways he was a fine young men, but even the best of young men have a tendency to be foolish at times, and this young man was no exception. I think he was about 17 or 18 at the time, and he had a girlfriend. In his great lack of wisdom, he came up with a plan. And what was the plan? He decided to take Proverbs 31 and evaluate his girlfriend in light of that passage. If I remember right, he gave her a C+. I can’t say that was the reason, but she didn’t marry him. Let me make it clear that I don’t have any report cards up my sleeve.

This morning my primary purpose is not to speak to you wives and mothers, but to speak about you. I will be speaking primarily to the rest of us, especially to us men. I have tried to organize this passage (Prov. 31:10-31) in a way that will help us keep its principles in mind.

So let’s read Prov. 31:10-31…
Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. 11. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. 12. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. 13. She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. 14. She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar. 15. She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. 16. She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. 17. She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. 18. She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night. 19. She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. 20. She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. 21. She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. 22. She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. 23. Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. 24. She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant. 25. Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. 26. She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. 27. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. 28. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. 29. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. 30. Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. 31. Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

I. Our Wives Are a Treasure

Let’s go back and read again Pr. 31:10-12, "Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. 11. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. 12. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life." Who can find a virtuous woman? We think this is a unique problem in our day, but it isn’t. I remember when I was a junior or senior in high school. Don’t ask me how the class got on the subject, but during the class some of the young ladies were sharing what they were looking for in a man. Several shared that they wanted a man “with experience.” You understand what they were saying. This was 40 years ago, but these were not virtuous young ladies. Remember that the first seven chapters of Proverbs have much to say about “strange women,” women whose goals were not godly. But now the subject is a virtuous woman. Who can find one?

So if a man does find a virtuous woman, what has he found? Listen to the last part of verse 10, “For her price is far above rubies.” She is more valuable that the most precious jewels. Prov. 12:4, “A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband…” You may not be a man in high position according to the standards of this world, but you are far better off, because you have found a virtuous woman. Prov. 18:22, “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.” How much more blessed is the man who finds a good wife, a virtuous wife!

Verse 11, “The heart of her husband doeth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.” The NIV states it like this: “The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.” I believe in the context of this passage, this verse is saying that her husband will have no need of gain because his wife is diligent and will prosper him materially. However, let me remind you that the Proverbs can and should be applied beyond the material. Under the old covenant, material prosperity was a sign of God’s blessing, but things are different under the new covenant. In this life, we who are in Christ have been blessed far more than those who came before Christ. We have been blessed with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ (Eph. 1:3). We don’t even have to be concerned with the material things, because we have the promise: “Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you” (Matt. 6:33). If you want to see clearly how the Proverbs have a greater application than the physical, I challenge you to look carefully at Prov. 6:6-11, where Solomon urges us to follow the example of the ant, who diligently stores up food. Does that mean we should store up food? Absolutely not. Why not? Because we must apply the passage in light of the New Testament. The ant gave himself diligently to that which is most important for an ant – food for the winter. But what is most important for the child of God? It isn’t food. We must give ourselves diligently to the eternal things, because that is what is most important to us.

We husbands are blessed with wives, and we don’t have any need of spoil. Because of our relationship with our wives, we don’t have to be looking for something else. That relationship is far more precious than all the riches the world can offer. Nor do we have to be looking for companionship in another. Again, I remind you that the early chapters of Proverbs speak continually to young men about the danger of deceptive women. We have a wife and we find contentment in dwelling with her. We have found someone we can trust.

And that leads us to verse 12, “She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.” Isn’t that beautiful. Again, in the context of this passage, there is a certain material emphasis in this verse, but let me emphasize that the truth of this passage goes far beyond the material benefits a wife can give to a husband. I don’t want to dismiss those benefits. Many of our wives are very careful in the way they purchase things and wise in the way they handle money. Nevertheless, there is a much deeper truth here. Your wife will do you good and not evil all the days of your life.

Let me focus on one area. Men, if you have a faithful wife, you are blessed beyond measure. Some of us live a sheltered life. We forget that the world is full of wives who are not satisfied with the husband they have. They are flirting with other men and looking for greener pastures. It was true in the day these Proverbs were written and it is true today. Wives are divorcing their husbands to marry other men. Do you realize what a blessing it is to have a wife who is faithful to you and not looking for another?

I have to confess that I am a slow learner. It took me a while to fully realize that outside of Christ my wife is my dearest treasure. I don’t use that word “treasure” lightly. Our wives are treasure. Though they would never tell you, how many men are there in this world who would give just about anything to have a wife like you have, a wife who is faithful? Do we realize what a blessing it is to not have to worry about our wife divorcing us, when things don’t go well?

Husbands, when you leave this place this morning, glory in the truth that you are blessed to be married to your wife. Now it is possible that someone here would be thinking, “But my wife isn’t all that great.” If you say that, I suspect you are guilty of playing the comparison game. May God deliver us from that. Your wife may be married to a husband that isn’t all that great either. Thank God for the treasure He has given you.

II. Our Wives Have Precious Qualities

Now let’s look at the bulk of this passage and lump the many qualities of the virtuous woman under three categories – consistent, caring, and compassionate. We will be looking now at verses 13-27.

A. Consistent

First of all, notice the consistency of this woman. We actually have the preview at the end of verse 12, “She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.” Notice that phrase, “all the days of her life.” It’s one thing to do good for her husband for a while, but this speaks of all the days of her life. Week after week and year after year she will consistently do him good.

George, how long have you been married? What about you, Jim? Norman? These men have been married to the same wife longer than many of you have been alive. Let me ask you three? Has your wife done you good all the days of her life?

Don’t misunderstand. This passage is not painting a picture of a perfect wife, a wife that has never done anything wrong, a wife who has never had any lapses. But over the long haul, she has done her husband good. Her husband doesn’t have to look back to twenty years ago to see that; he still sees it today. I have to testify that my wife has done me increasingly good through the years. It’s getting better, not worse.

The rest of this section gives the specifics of her consistency. She is not lazy, but industrious. Go to the end of this section, where we are told in verse 27 that she does not eat the bread of idleness. That is just another way of saying that she isn’t lazy. Verses 13-15, “She seeketh wool and flax and worketh willingly with her hands. She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar. 15. She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens." Men, don’t twist this passage. It doesn’t say that your wife resembles a ship; it says that she brings in food for her family, as a merchant ship brings goods for those who need them. This passage is not saying that your wife is lazy, if she doesn’t rise before daylight. This is simply a testimony of the industry of this wife. Because there is a need to get up early, she is willing to do it. She works willingly with her hands.

When you read through this whole section, you see a picture of great consistency. None of the things she does can be discharged in a day or a week. These are tasks that must be done over and over and over again. We know the saying, “A woman’s work is never done,” and how true it is. That might be a good summary of this principle. I get the idea that this is not a woman who grumbles about her work never being done. Rather, she is glad to be able to serve on a consistent basis.

B. Caring

Not only is this woman consistent, but she is caring. I am talking primarily about her taking care for her husband and children. We have already read in verse 12 that she will do her husband good and not evil all the days of her life. She consistently works diligently. But what is her motive? She cares for her family.

Don’t get so caught up in the specifics that you lose sight of the big picture. The theme here is the way she cares for her family. She does many things that need to be done and that frees her husband to do the things he needs to be doing. He doesn’t have to do those things, because his wife takes care of them.

Look at verses 16-17, "She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. 17. She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms." Now this may seem a bit foreign to us. That is because our culture is very different. This does not mean that a woman must plant a vineyard or a garden to be godly. Most of us would think it a bit strange for our wives to go out and make a deal on a piece of property. In that day, life was much harder physically than in our society today. Her husband may have been out clearing a piece of land from sun up until sundown. Because his work was so demanding, she was able to take care of other things. In that day it was necessary that she strengthen her arms. More physical labor was required of a woman in that society. But her motive was a caring attitude for her family. Her attitude is summed up well by the first part of verse 27, “She looketh well to the ways of her household.”

Look especially at verses 21-24…
She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. 22. She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. 23. Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. 24. She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.

In the face of harsh winters, she makes clothing that will keep them warm and dry. Why? Because she cares for them. Not only is that clothing functional, but it is more. Her husband is known in the gates. “The gates” speaks of the place where the men did business. We might liken it to the courthouse square of days gone by. When her husband showed up there, he was distinguished by what he wore. It wasn’t that his clothing was fancy. Rather, what he wore said that he had a wife who loved him and cared for him. She didn’t just throw something together that would be embarrassing for him to wear. No, she put her heart into it because she wanted the best for the man she loved.

C. Compassionate

We are told in verse 26 that she opens her mouth with wisdom. Not only that, but in her tongue is the law of kindness. Not only does this woman take care of her family, but she speaks to them with kindness. Some translations render it “the teaching of kindness is on her tongue” (NASV; ESV). She is not just kind on occasion, but this is a way of life with her. Kindness comes forth from this woman. Kindness describes her lifestyle. Those who are around her are infected with her kindness; they find themselves dealing in a more kindly manner.

We see also that her compassion goes beyond her family members. Verse 20, “She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.” We might think that taking care of her family in that culture was enough, but not for the virtuous woman. She also had a concern for the poor and needy. But it is a more than a concern, for we see that she stretches out her hand to them. That simply means that she meets their needs. No doubt, she shared food with them and made clothing for them. Her long hours of labor in providing for the family did not blind her to the needs of others.

This is a woman who has a heart of compassion. She is kind in her demeanor and compassionate in her outlook. Such a wife is a great asset to any husband who wants to follow the Lord.

Think of these qualities that characterize the virtuous woman – consistency, caring, compassion. If you are around lots of women who are like this, you may get the idea that this is a picture of women in general. That is not necessarily so. There are plenty of women who are captured with high society, who are slaves to fashion and fads. Husbands, praise God that He has given you a woman who consistently cares for her family and has compassion on others rather than seeking her own glory.

III. Our Wives Are Pursuing Godliness

Now come to the last section of this passage. Let’s read Prov. 31:28-31…
Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. 29. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. 30. Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. 31. Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

We see here that this virtuous woman is worthy of praise. We will talk more about that in a moment, but first I want you to notice something. Right in the middle of this section which says that she is worthy of praise, one other quality is mentioned. It is in verse 30, “Favor is deceitful and beauty is vain; but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.” Other translations say, “Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised” (NIV). I want to suggest to you this morning that this is the crowning quality of the virtuous woman. Above all else, she fears the Lord.

Again, this does not mean that she is perfect. Nevertheless, she does fear the Lord. She understands that all of life comes from Him and that everything she says, does, and thinks is open to His watchful eye. Ultimately, she has a motive that is even higher than serving her husband and children; her great desire is to serve her Lord and bring glory to His name. Last week we read Col. 3:23-24, "And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; 24. Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ." Yes, this is her goal.

I have titled this point: “Our wives are pursuing godliness.” That is a good description of the woman who fears the Lord. She may not describe herself as godly, but that is her goal. Praise God for wives who long to be conformed to the image of Christ. They aren’t there yet, but they are trusting the Lord to do the work. Though they have ups and downs, their eyes are on the Lord Jesus Christ.

Conclusion

Let’s close with this point: Our wives are worthy to be praised. Those who have been wives are worthy to be praised. Let their children rise up and call their mothers “Blessed.” Let her husband praise her. Her own deeds shall praise her in the sight of man. Give her what she deserves.

Men, may God give us grace to take stock of the treasure He has given us. Are we properly appreciative of our wives? If there is a man who wishes he had a different wife, let him repent of his sin. If there is man who doesn’t believe this description fits his wife, then ask yourself the question: “Am I being a help or a hindrance to my wife becoming more godly?” You can help by treasuring her and praising her for who she is and what she does for you. You can encourage her by seeking the Lord with all your heart. Don’t wait to praise her. Before long, it will be too late. Act now.

Wives and mothers, let me address you briefly. Perhaps you are here this morning and you say to yourself, “I don’t fit that description.” I don’t know you, but the Lord does. I would encourage you to look at your heart more than your deeds. Is your desire to be a godly wife and mother? If so, chances are great that you are a woman who fears the Lord. Don’t let the enemy load you up with guilt because you haven’t reached perfection. On the other hand, if your heart is hard and you are in rebellion against the Lord, then by all means let this passage serve as a reproof and respond with repentance and faith.

Now let’s close our service by blessing our wives and mothers by thanking God for them.

Pray