Sunday, May 10, 2009
THE SOVEREIGNTY OF GOD AND RESPONSIBILITY OF MAN
Gen. 25:19-34; 26:34-27:46
This morning we are going to be looking at the last part of Genesis 25 and then at chapter 27. Our focus must always be upon the Lord, but our human actors today will be Jacob and Esau, with Rebekah taking more than a supportive role. We are going to review the well-known story of how Jacob secured both the birthright and the blessing. More accurately, we might say that we are going to look at how Jacob swindled Esau out of the birthright and the blessing.
From the outset, I want us to be thinking about questions that inevitably come out of these stories. Didn’t Jacob do what God wanted him to do? After all, God had already declared that the older would serve the younger. Did God’s plan absolve Jacob (and Rebekah) from any personal responsibility? It is impossible to look at these chapters and not entertain questions about the sovereignty of God and the responsibility of man. While we won’t attempt to do an exhaustive study of that subject this morning, neither do we want to shy away from the difficulties associated with that subject.
Read Gen. 25:19-26… (Will have read Gen. 26:34-27:46 earlier in the service)
And these are the generations of Isaac, Abraham's son: Abraham begat Isaac: 20. And Isaac was forty years old when he took Rebekah to wife, the daughter of Bethuel the Syrian of Padanaram, the sister to Laban the Syrian. 21. And Isaac entreated the LORD for his wife, because she was barren: and the LORD was entreated of him, and Rebekah his wife conceived. 22. And the children struggled together within her; and she said, If it be so, why am I thus? And she went to inquire of the LORD. 23. And the LORD said unto her, Two nations are in thy womb, and two manner of people shall be separated from thy bowels; and the one people shall be stronger than the other people; and the elder shall serve the younger. 24. And when her days to be delivered were fulfilled, behold, there were twins in her womb. 25. And the first came out red, all over like an hairy garment; and they called his name Esau. 26. And after that came his brother out, and his hand took hold on Esau's heel; and his name was called Jacob: and Isaac was threescore years old when she bare them.
I. God Plans from the Beginning
A few weeks ago we emphasized the truth that when God makes a plan, it is done. God “has done whatsoever he hath pleased” (Ps. 115:3). God has never failed to accomplish what He has promised. There are no exceptions. This morning we want to emphasize that God does indeed make plans. God has planned from the beginning. We are going to see that here in the 25th chapter of Genesis.
Here in 25:19 we return to the story of Isaac. You recall that chapter 24 is all about how Abraham sent his servant to secure a wife of Isaac. What a beautiful story it is. Remember that it is not just about Isaac’s happiness. God didn’t provide a wife for Isaac just so he could live “happily ever after.” Isaac is the son of promise, and that promise is vitally connected to having children, for God said that Abraham would be the father of a nation through his son Isaac. The first step was to get a wife; the second is to have children.
Now we have a problem. Like Abraham’s wife Sarah, Isaac’s wife Rebekah is barren. She is not able to have children. That must have been heartbreaking for both Isaac and Rebekah. But that isn’t the end of the story. We read in verse 21, “And Isaac entreated the Lord for his wife, because she was barren; and the Lord was entreated of him, and Rebekah his wife conceived.” Praise God! He heard the prayer of Isaac. I love the simplicity of this. Rebekah wasn’t able to have children, so Isaac prayed for her. So now we can see more of the fulfillment of the promise God made to Abraham.
Not only was Rebekah going to have a child, but she would be the mother of twins. We are told that two rambunctious boys “struggled in her womb.” The jostling of these two boys was so intense that she asked, “If it be so, why am I thus?” What exactly did she mean? Perhaps the idea was something like this: “If the Lord has answered our prayer and given us grace to conceive a child, then why am I like this?” It seems that she thought something was wrong. Rebekah had never been pregnant before, and now she was doubly pregnant! So she turned to the Lord and asked Him about it. Now listen to the Lord’s reply in verse 23, "And the LORD said unto her, Two nations are in thy womb, and two manner of people shall be separated from thy bowels; and the one people shall be stronger than the other people; and the elder shall serve the younger."
God had a plan. These twin boys had not yet been born. Isaac and Rebekah didn’t know they were boys at this point. Up until the Lord spoke, they didn’t even know they were twins. But through the voice of the Lord much was revealed…
1. Twins were in Rebekah’s womb.
2. These two boys would be the heads of two future nations.
3. One of the nations would be stronger than the other.
4. The older of the two boys would serve the younger.
This revelation is so striking that many who read the Bible conclude that the writer of this passage wrote it at a much later date. In other words, he had the luxury of viewing history and then went back and constructed this passage to line up with what he found. It would be like you living 2009 and then going back to Dec. 15, 2008 and recording in your diary all the things that happened in 2009. The reason people come to such conclusions is that they have trouble believing that God could know all of these things ahead of time. Maybe God could know that Rebekah had conceived twins, but how could He possibly know that their descendants could comprise two separate nations and that the descendants of the younger would be stronger than the other? Surely that couldn’t be.
Make no mistake about it, the Bible claims that God did indeed predict these things. If these predictions were inserted into the text hundreds of years later, then the Bible is not what it claims to be, the divinely inspired record of truth. But please understand that this is far more than prediction. God was not just looking into the future and then speaking of what He saw. This is not the record of what God saw; this is the declaring of what God was doing and was going to do. It would not just happen that the older served the younger. God knew it would be that way because He would bring it to pass, just as surely as He had placed twin boys in the womb of Rebekah. God had a plan and He would execute that plan to perfection. History gives us the record of how it came to pass. This is the way God operates; He has a plan from the beginning. God not only knows the future, but He ordains the future and brings it to pass.
But why is it this way? Why does God operate like this? Please turn to Romans 9. This is a very strong passage that rubs many people the wrong way. In this chapter Paul focuses on the sovereignty of God. Beginning in verse 6, Paul informs us that people do not belong to God by physical descent alone. Rom. 9:6, “Now as though the Word of God had taken none effect, for they are not all Israel, which are of Israel.” In other words, just because a person was born as a descendant of Israel (Jacob), that does not mean that person is a true Israelite. Many are descendants of Jacob, but they are not true Israelites. Then Paul carries that same principle back beyond Jacob. Verses 7-9, "Neither, because they are the seed of Abraham, are they all children: but, In Isaac shall thy seed be called. 8. That is, They which are the children of the flesh, these are not the children of God: but the children of the promise are counted for the seed. 9. For this is the word of promise, At this time will I come, and Sarah shall have a son." Ishmael and all his descendants had Abraham as their father, but they were not a part of the children of God, for the children of God would come through the promised son Isaac. There has always been this selection process in place.
Now come to Rom. 9:10-13…
And not only this; but when Rebecca also had conceived by one, even by our father Isaac; 11. (For the children being not yet born, neither having done any good or evil, that the purpose of God according to election might stand, not of works, but of him that calleth;) 12. It was said unto her, The elder shall serve the younger. 13. As it is written, Jacob have I loved, but Esau have I hated.
Notice that verse 12 is a direct quotation from Gen. 25:23, “The elder shall serve the younger.” That is what the Lord said to Rebekah, when she questioned him about the twins struggling in her womb. Paul is using this as a further illustration of his point that not all the descendants of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob are the children of God. Not only does he use this event as an illustration, but it is the climax of his argument. This event is particularly suited to the point that Paul wants to make. That point is that everything comes back to God. It is God who makes and executes the plan that governs the life of men.
Let’s look at his argument. Rebekah conceived by Isaac and it was said unto her, “The elder shall serve the younger.” That is what we find in verses 10 and 12, but there is a parenthesis in between, and that parenthesis contains the meat of the argument. Let’s read it in verse 11, “For the children being not yet born, neither having done any good or evil, that the purpose of God according to election might stand, not or works, but of him that calleth.” That is why before the boys were ever born God said to Rebekah, “The elder shall serve the younger.” He wanted to make sure it was understand that His choice of the younger could never be assigned to anything the boys had done. God’s choice had nothing to do with their works, because there were no works; they hadn’t been born. It was all “of him that calleth.” In other words, God ordained the future of Jacob and Esau. That is a strong statement, but we must let it stand, because that is what the text says.
But we’re not done yet. Keep this in mind, that God plans from the beginning and executes His plan. But the record of Esau and Jacob is far from over. Now let’s consider some of the historical record.
II. Man Carries Out God’s Plan
Now we are going to see how God’s plan was actually carried out. We are going to consider the record of how the older would serve the younger. The chief actors will be Jacob of Esau, with plenty of assistance from mom and dad, Rebekah and Isaac. What we have is how man carries out the plan of God. We will focus this morning on the birthright and the blessing. These are well-known stories and you will enjoy going over them again. Now let’s read Gen. 25:27-34…
And the boys grew: and Esau was a cunning hunter, a man of the field; and Jacob was a plain man, dwelling in tents. 28. And Isaac loved Esau, because he did eat of his venison: but Rebekah loved Jacob. 29. And Jacob sod pottage: and Esau came from the field, and he was faint: 30. And Esau said to Jacob, Feed me, I pray thee, with that same red pottage; for I am faint: therefore was his name called Edom. 31. And Jacob said, Sell me this day thy birthright. 32. And Esau said, Behold, I am at the point to die: and what profit shall this birthright do to me? 33. And Jacob said, Swear to me this day; and he sware unto him: and he sold his birthright unto Jacob. 34. Then Jacob gave Esau bread and pottage of lentiles; and he did eat and drink, and rose up, and went his way: thus Esau despised his birthright.
We are going to be reading about how Jacob wound up with the birthright and the blessing. That was unusual because Jacob was the younger of the two boys. You may say, “No, they are twins.” While they were twins, even among twins, there is a firstborn. I don’t know whether we keep any record of that today; I have never heard it mentioned, but they kept a record of it in those days. We read a few minutes ago that Esau came out first, with Jacob hanging on to his heel.
Humanly speaking, the key to the struggle between these two boys is found in verse 28, “And Isaac loved Esau, because he did eat of his venison; but Rebekah loved Jacob.” Was there anything wrong with Isaac loving Esau and Rebekah loving Jacob? Not necessarily, but this is recorded in such a way that a problem is identified. We are never told that Esau loved Jacob and that Rebekah loved Esau. The placement of the word “but” indicates that Isaac and Rebekah had their favorites. And upon what was that favoritism based? It was based solely on personality differences and ultimately upon selfishness. Isaac loved Esau because Esau was a hunter and he ate of the meat that Esau brought to him. Jacob wasn’t a hunter, so he wasn’t loved by his father in the same way that Esau was. Jacob, on the other hand, was a plain man who dwelled in tents. Some translations render “plain” as “quiet” or “peaceful.” Esau was an outdoorsman, but that life didn’t appeal to Jacob. That was fine with Rebekah, as she preferred a son of Jacob’s temperament. Our story will make it increasingly clear that Jacob was the favorite of his mother Rebekah.
Now don’t be too hard on Isaac and Rebekah. There can be a natural tendency for parents to have their favorites. We have two sons. One is more like his dad and the other is more like his mother in many ways. If the natural tendency is unchecked, that might develop into favoritism. Or consider the parents who have boys and girls. One parent might favor one gender over the other. Surely everything we know teaches us that favoritism is evil, that every child needs to know the love of both his parents. No doubt, Isaac and Rebekah knew that too, but their own selfishness got the best of them and they played the favorite game. Now when we come to the story of the birthright here at the end of chapter 25, there is no record that this favoritism played a direct role, but it certainly will when we come to the blessing.
A. The Birthright
So what was the birthright? Very simply, the oldest son was entitled to a double inheritance. Let’s read Deut. 21:16-17…
Then it shall be, when he maketh his sons to inherit that which he hath, that he may not make the son of the beloved firstborn before the son of the hated, which is indeed the firstborn: 17. But he shall acknowledge the son of the hated for the firstborn, by giving him a double portion of all that he hath: for he is the beginning of his strength; the right of the firstborn is his.
The firstborn received a double portion of the inheritance. Now in our case, who was entitled to that double portion, Jacob or Esau? Esau, because he was the firstborn. When the time came, Esau would receive twice as much as Jacob. This double portion was Esau’s “right by birth.” That is the meaning of “birthright.”
One day Esau came from the field (probably out hunting), while Jacob was at home cooking up some stew. When Esau got home, he was exhausted and starved. Many of us have been there. “Jacob, let me have some of that red stew, because I’m starved to death.” So far, there is nothing unusual about this little story. But then Jacob gives it a different twist, when he replies, “Sell me your birthright.” In other words, “I’ll give you some of this good stew in exchange for your birthright.” It would be kind of like you coming in starving to death and asking for a steak that I’m cooking on the grill. Then I would say, “Okay, I’ll give you some steak, if you’ll sign over your house to me, legally assuring me that your house will be mine when you die.” There is one great difference between this story about Jacob and Esau and my illustration. The birthright was more valuable than a house. Not only did it have material value, but it was treasured because it was the right of the firstborn. It had a spiritual significance that went beyond the physical.
The key to Esau’s response is the fact that he looked at the immediate value instead of the long-range value of the birthright. Listen to what he says in verse 32, “Behold, I am at the point of death; and what good will this birthright do me?” Esau was a bit dramatic. He was plenty hungry, but he was not in danger of dying. At this point I believe that Jacob had to make a decision. He had made this crazy suggestion, but would he go through with it? He might have said, “Esau, you are foolish to talk that way. Have some of my stew, but I won’t take your birthright.” But instead, he said, “Swear to me this day.” Esau was willing, so they entered into a contract – a bowl of stew in exchange of the birthright. It was a done deal; Esau sold his birthright to Jacob.
The question always comes up: Was Jacob wrong in what he did? Was it wrong for him to take advantage of Esau? Or could we say that Jacob was simply a shrewd businessman? And what about Esau? Was he simply foolish? Or was what he did wrong? We’ll save those questions for a little bit later.
B. The Blessing
Now we come to the story of the blessing. We read it earlier from Genesis 27. Before we get into the meat of the story, it will be helpful to make a couple of notes about the ages of Jacob and Esau when these events took place. How old were Jacob and Esau when the birthright exchanged hands? Is there any hint that might help us? Obviously, Esau was old enough to be out in the field and Jacob was old enough to make stew. I get the impression from the story that they were not little kids. It seems most likely that they were under 40 years of age, because Gen. 26:34 records the marriage of Esau when he was 40 years of age. It is possible that the marriage could have taken place before the selling of the birthright, but it seems most natural to assume that the marriage took place afterward, as it is recorded here. By the way, you will remember that it took 67 verses to find a wife of Isaac, but Esau got two wives in just one verse. That probably says something about the care with which the wives were chosen. We notice also in 26:35 that Isaac and Rebekah was not pleased with the wives that Esau chose.
Now we come to Gen. 27:1-2, "And it came to pass, that when Isaac was old, and his eyes were dim, so that he could not see, he called Esau his eldest son, and said unto him, My son: and he said unto him, Behold, here am I. And he said, Behold now, I am old, I know not the day of my death." Isaac didn’t know how much longer he had, so he decided it was time to bestow the blessing upon his sons. Now the blessing is difficult for us to understand. The blessing was more than just some nice things that a father said to his sons before he died. There is no specific record of Abraham blessing his sons. Rather, we are simply told that he gave gifts to his other sons, but the inheritance went to Isaac. That has more to do with the birthright than the blessing. However, it is very likely that he did bless his sons. Later, we are given great details about Jacob blessing his sons before he died. The record there indicates that the blessings Jacob gave his sons were very accurate, in that the things Jacob spoke actually came to pass. There was a certain genuine authority that came through the blessing. As with the birthright, the oldest son was entitled to a special blessing. That is why Esau was intent upon receiving the blessing from his father.
Now back to the issue of age. How old were the boys when Isaac told Esau to go out and kill an animal and dress it in preparation for a meal and the blessing? Though the age is not specified, we can figure it out. I will just give you the barest details, but you can check it out for yourself. Immediately after the blessing was given, Jacob would head for Padanaram in order to escape the wrath of Esau, who had vowed to kill him. We know that Jacob spent 20 years there with his Uncle Laban. Joseph was thirty when he stood before Pharaoh and came to power in Egypt (Gen. 41:46). Seven years of plenty passed. When Joseph revealed himself to his brothers, he mentioned that two years of famine had passed and there were five to go (Gen. 45:6). At that point, Joseph brought his father Jacob down to Egypt. When Jacob was introduced to the Pharaoh, he stated that he was 130 years old (Gen. 47:9). So when Jacob was 130, Jospeh would have been 40 (30 when he came to power, plus 7 good years, plus 2 years of famine, and then allowing close to a year to get Jacob moved down to Egypt). So Jacob would have been 90 when Joseph was born. It appears that Joseph was born when Jacob had been with Laban for 14 years, for we read in Gen. 31:41, "Thus have I been twenty years in thy house; I served thee fourteen years for thy two daughters, and six years for thy cattle: and thou hast changed my wages ten times” (see also Gen. 30:25-26). So if Jacob was 90 when Joseph was born and if Joseph was born 14 years after Jacob arrived in Padanaram, then Jacob would have been 76 when he arrived there. If we leave a year or so for the trip, that would make Jacob at least 75 when the events of Gen. 27 took place. By the way, that would have made Isaac 135 at the time, because we read in Gen. 25:26 that Isaac was 60 when the twins were born. Isaac didn’t die until he was 180 (Gen. 35:28). That means that he gave the blessing 45 years before he died! I guess we could say that Isaac was a bit pessimistic. Perhaps he was a hypochondriac. Do bear in mind that Jacob and Esau were 75 years old (give or take a year) when Isaac gave the blessing.
The story is very, very simple. Isaac desired to give the greatest blessing to his son Esau, and that was proper, since Esau was the oldest. On the other hand, there is no mention of giving any blessing to Jacob. It may well be that Isaac was so consumed with blessing his favorite that he had no plans to bless his younger son. He was more interested in making sure that he was able to taste his beloved venison one more time. So he sent Esau out to kill a deer and prepare him a tasty meal.
This is where things get interesting. Rebekah heard the conversation between Esau and his father. As soon as Esau headed out with his bow, Rebekah sprang into action. She found Jacob and told him Isaac’s plan. But then she said to Jacob, “Do what I say.” You know the story. She told him to kill a goat and prepare a meal for his father. Jacob objected that Esau was a hairy man and Isaac would surely notice the difference, and then he would curse him instead of blessing him. Listen to Rebekah’s reply in verse 13, “Upon me by your curse, my son; only oby my voice, and go fetch them.” She was willing to bear the responsibility. “Jacob, just do what I say.” When Jacob had killed the goat, Rebekah made the meal, but she didn’t stop there. She put Esau’s clothes on Jacob and she also attached goat skin to his hands and the smooth part of his neck. With those preparations, she sent Jacob into his father Isaac.
Remember that Isaac was blind by this time. He asked his son, “Who are you, my son?” Listen to the lie with which Jacob answered, “I am Esau your firstborn. I have done what you asked me to do. So rise up and eat, so that you may then bless me” (19). Isaac then asked, “How were you able to find a deer so quickly?” Jacob said, “Because the Lord your God brought it to me.” Not only did Jacob lie, but he attributed the deception of him and his mother to God Himself. Isaac was still suspicious and asked Jacob to come near so that he could feel of him and make sure it was Esau. Isaac concluded, “The voice is Jacob’s voice, but the hands are the hands of Esau” (22). It worked. Rebekah and Jacob fooled Isaac and he gave the blessing to Jacob. One more time Isaac asked, “Are you really my son Esau?” Jacob never wavered: “I am.” The actual blessing is found in Gen. 27:27-29…
And he came near, and kissed him: and he smelled the smell of his raiment, and blessed him, and said, See, the smell of my son is as the smell of a field which the LORD hath blessed: 28. Therefore God give thee of the dew of heaven, and the fatness of the earth, and plenty of corn and wine: 29. Let people serve thee, and nations bow down to thee: be lord over thy brethren, and let thy mother's sons bow down to thee: cursed be every one that curseth thee, and blessed be he that blesseth thee.
Notice especially the part “be lord over your brothers, and let your mother’s sons bow down to you.” That is exactly what would happen. Isaac meant it for Esau, but it was the blessing he gave to Jacob.
But what about Esau? While Jacob is being blessed, Esau is happily out looking for a deer. He got one, but by the time he had prepared it, Jacob was already gone. When Esau came in and announced that he was ready to receive the blessing, Isaac said, “Who are you?” “I’m Esau, your firstborn.” We hear the despair of Isaac in verse 33, "And Isaac trembled very exceedingly, and said, Who? where is he that hath taken venison, and brought it me, and I have eaten of all before thou camest, and have blessed him? yea, and he shall be blessed.” Isaac could not take the blessing back. He had given it to Jacob, and with Jacob it would remain. This is a part of that official authority that came with the blessing. Esau pled with his father, but Isaac confirmed that Jacob had stolen his blessing. Now listen to Esau in verse 36, "And he said, Is not he rightly named Jacob? for he hath supplanted me these two times: he took away my birthright; and, behold, now he hath taken away my blessing. And he said, Hast thou not reserved a blessing for me?" In response to Esau’s plea, Isaac gave him a lesser blessing, which is recorded in verses 39-40, "And Isaac his father answered and said unto him, Behold, thy dwelling shall be the fatness of the earth, and of the dew of heaven from above; 40. And by thy sword shalt thou live, and shalt serve thy brother; and it shall come to pass when thou shalt have the dominion, that thou shalt break his yoke from off thy neck.”
Because of what his brother had done in taking away his birthright (27:36) and stealing his blessing, Esau hated Jacob and vowed to kill him (41). What should have been a wonderful godly family had become a real mess. Things started out well, with Abraham trusting God to find a wife of his son Isaac. Rebekah was a young lady with a servant’s heart and was willing to leave everything she had known in order to be Isaac’s wife. When Rebekah couldn’t have children, Isaac prayed for his wife and she conceived. When Isaac was 60 they were blessed with twin boys. But what started well is not turning out so well.
III. The Role of God and the Role of Man
Now let’s try to get a handle on these things. We are faced with what seems to be a tension between the sovereignty of God and the responsibility of man. In other words, before Esau and Jacob were born, God said plainly that the older would serve the younger, that these boys would be heads of two nations, with one being stronger than the other. As we have already emphasized, when God says something, it is as good as done. Nevertheless, Genesis spends a lot of time describing how these things are worked out. And in the Genesis account, the main actors are human beings – Jacob, Esau, Isaac, and Rebekah. In the story of the birthright, the Lord isn’t mentioned at all. Concerning the stealing of the blessing, the Lord is mentioned four times, but even those references are rather casual.
If we had not read in 25:23 what God said before the twins were born, the accounts of the birthright and the blessing would seem to be just human events. There is nothing here about God making Esau forfeit his birthright. The account of the blessing says nothing about God’s role in the deception practiced by Rebekah and Jacob. Nevertheless, what happened in these two events serves to accomplish the purpose of God. So why did things turn out the way they did? Was it because God had decreed it? Or was it because of the actions of Jacob and Esau and their parents? These are not easy questions to answer.
Let me be direct and to the point. God is absolutely sovereign over the affairs of men. The older served the younger because God said it was going to be that way. God not only knew the fact beforehand, but He Himself so ordained it. It couldn’t have happened any other way. All the scheming of the human race could not have derailed the plan of God. The nations of Israel and Edom were destined to be and Israel would be the stronger because God said it would be so.
Now here is the big problem with that viewpoint. Where do Jacob, Esau, Isaac, and Rebekah fit in? Were they simply robots, responding as God pulled the strings? The Genesis account certainly doesn’t indicate that. But could we say that since God wanted the older to serve the younger, therefore He directed, urged, or forced Isaac and Rebekah to play favorites? We find absolutely nothing like that in our text. The attitude of Isaac and Rebekah was sinful, and God did not participate in their sin in any way. Likewise, Jacob made a conscious decision to suggest the exchange of the birthright for a pot of stew, and Esau made a conscious decision to despise his birthright. God did not force Rebekah to help Jacob steal the blessing, nor did he even suggest to her that she employ such a deceptive scheme.
So how do we put the two together? What if Esau had refused to sell his birthright? What if Jacob had refused to go along with Rebekah’s scheme? Since God had ordained Esau to serve Jacob, was Jacob doing the will of God in taking away the birthright and the blessing?
The best way I know to deal with these questions is to turn to Romans 9. Though we read them earlier, to refresh our memory let’s read again verses 10-13…
And not only this; but when Rebecca also had conceived by one, even by our father Isaac; 11. (For the children being not yet born, neither having done any good or evil, that the purpose of God according to election might stand, not of works, but of him that calleth;) 12. It was said unto her, The elder shall serve the younger. 13. As it is written, Jacob have I loved, but Esau have I hated.
After writing those words, Paul anticipated an objection. You will recall that Paul often used this form of argument. Many of you are familiar with Romans 6-7, where Paul uses this method. He states the anticipated objection here in 9:14, “What shall we say then? Is there unrighteousness with God?” In other words, if God chooses one son over the other before they are even born, is God being unfair? As he often does, Paul gives a short answer and then a longer answer. The short answer is, “God forbid.” More literally, “May it never be.” The longer answer is in verses 15-18…
For he saith to Moses, I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion. 16. So then it is not of him that willeth, nor of him that runneth, but of God that showeth mercy. 17. For the scripture saith unto Pharaoh, Even for this same purpose have I raised thee up, that I might show my power in thee, and that my name might be declared throughout all the earth. 18. Therefore hath he mercy on whom he will have mercy, and whom he will he hardeneth.
Paul makes it clear that the situation with Jacob and Esau was not at all unique. Consider Pharaoh. Paul says that God raised him up for his own purpose, that He (God) might show His power in Pharaoh and that the divine name might be declared throughout the earth. This is a direct quote from the words God spoke to Pharaoh through Moses in Ex. 9:16. In other words, God used Pharaoh to bring glory to His name. And in the process, He hardened Pharaoh’s heart. It was later when God was dealing with Moses that the Lord told him, “I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy” (see Ex. 33:19). In light of these Old Testament quotations, Paul concludes in verse 18 by saying that the Lord has mercy on whom He chooses and He hardens whom He chooses.
Paul was aware that those very strong words will likely bring up another objection, and he states that objection in verse 19: “Thou wilt say then unto me, Why doth he yet find fault? For who hath resisted his will?” We can understand that question. If God hardens whomever He wants to harden, then how can he hold anyone responsible for his actions? If God says I am going to be hardened, how can I possibly resist the will of Almighty God? Is there any reason for me to fight against the divine decree? Paul acknowledges that it is indeed a logical question. One brother was reading this recently and said, “That’s exactly what I was going to ask.” Paul understands that he is treading in deep waters.
Now listen to Paul’s response to this difficult question. Verses 20-21, “Nay but, O man, who art thou that repliest against God? Shall the thing formed say to him that formed it, Why hast thou made me thus? 21. Hath not the potter power over the clay, of the same lump to make one vessel unto honour, and another unto dishonour?” Be careful about what you say to God. I am fully aware that we live in a religious society that increasingly embraces the attitude that says, “Don’t be afraid to question God; He can take it. Vent your anger to God. Tell Him how you feel. Shake your fist at Him. Get it off your chest.” May God give us grace to turn a deaf ear to such ungodly counsel. May we hear the voice of our Lord in the simple command of Ps. 33:8, "Let all the earth fear the LORD: let all the inhabitants of the world stand in awe of him." Is there a time to ask questions of the Lord? Of course, there is, but even then those questions should be asked with reverence and framed with humility. Woe to the man who begins to question God without fearing God!
The sooner we come to realize that God does not answer all our questions the way we want them answered the better. Notice that Paul does not give his objectors the answer they are looking for. When they ask, “Why does God still find fault?” he does not give them a logical answer. Rather, he thunders the words, “Who are you to question God like this? You are like a piece of clay arguing with the potter who has the authority to make out of it whatever He desires.”
At this point, you may say, “What kind of God is that?” Praise the Lord that we serve a righteous and loving and merciful God. But those attributes will never change the fact that God is sovereign and He does what He pleases. Our God answers to no man. He is not obligated to explain anything He does. When He does reveal the purposes behind His actions, praise His name. When He does not, praise Him just the same. We don’t love and trust Him because we can understand everything He does; we love and trust Him because He is trustworthy. He is God Almighty and He has never made a mistake. He is working to bring glory to His name, and we glory in His glory.
Conclusion
Here is the bottom line. God’s sovereignty does not alleviate the responsibility of man in any way. Jacob was chosen over Esau because God saw fit to do it that way. Nevertheless, Esau sinned in despising his birthright. Jacob sinned in swindling Esau out of his birthright and blessing. He lived up to his name “heel grabber,” “deceiver,” and his attitude and actions were wrong. The fact that God would use the actions of Isaac, Rebekah, Jacob, and Esau did not make them one bit less sinful.
Consider ourselves. We have all sinned and come short of the glory of God. But we didn’t have any choice; we are sinners because of what Adam did. How can God hold us responsible? He does. We cannot plead that it was not our fault. No, I don’t totally understand that, but I do understand this. Though God may not give us all the answers to those deep questions, He has created a solution and revealed to us clearly how we can be a part of that solution. God sent His Son into this world to bear our sins. You may not understand everything about why you are a sinner, but you can understand how you can become righteous in Jesus Christ. God was under no obligation to forgive you and make you right with Him. But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in sins, has made us alive together with Christ (Eph. 2:4-5). And if you are still dead in your sins, He can make you alive in Christ. Repent and believe. Forsake all trust in yourself. Admit that you are undone and that you can’t do a thing about it. Throw yourself on Jesus Christ, who became sin on your behalf, that you might be made the righteousness of God in Him.
Brothers and sisters, let’s not be frustrated by the things we don’t fully understand. Rather, let’s rejoice that our Sovereign Lord is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Let’s not be afraid to affirm that He does what He pleases, though we don’t understand all the implications of that. Let’s humbly bow before Him and praise His holy name.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Praise the Lord for Godly Women -- 5/10/09
Sunday, May 10, 2009
PRAISE THE LORD FOR GODLY WOMEN
Prov. 31:10-31
I said Wednesday evening that we would be looking at Esau and Jacob this morning. Change of plan. Lord willing, that will be our subject next week (be reading Gen. 25 and 27). But today I am going to take some time to speak about wives. I think it is safe to say that all of you ladies are wives, have been wives, or hope to be wives.
As I was thinking about wives, a couple of possible ideas came to my mind as to how I might approach this subject. We could just look at Genesis 27, which tells us of how Rebekah helped Jacob trick his father into giving the primary blessing to Jacob instead of Esau. We could read the story and then say to you wives, “Don’t be like Rebekah, because she played favorites among her children.” In reality, I don’t know of any of you who have a great struggle with that. I see mothers who love all of their children.
I might follow the lead of a young man I knew. In many ways he was a fine young men, but even the best of young men have a tendency to be foolish at times, and this young man was no exception. I think he was about 17 or 18 at the time, and he had a girlfriend. In his great lack of wisdom, he came up with a plan. And what was the plan? He decided to take Proverbs 31 and evaluate his girlfriend in light of that passage. If I remember right, he gave her a C+. I can’t say that was the reason, but she didn’t marry him. Let me make it clear that I don’t have any report cards up my sleeve.
This morning my primary purpose is not to speak to you wives and mothers, but to speak about you. I will be speaking primarily to the rest of us, especially to us men. I have tried to organize this passage (Prov. 31:10-31) in a way that will help us keep its principles in mind.
So let’s read Prov. 31:10-31…
Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. 11. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. 12. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. 13. She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. 14. She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar. 15. She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. 16. She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. 17. She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. 18. She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night. 19. She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. 20. She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. 21. She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. 22. She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. 23. Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. 24. She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant. 25. Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. 26. She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. 27. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. 28. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. 29. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. 30. Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. 31. Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.
I. Our Wives Are a Treasure
Let’s go back and read again Pr. 31:10-12, "Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. 11. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. 12. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life." Who can find a virtuous woman? We think this is a unique problem in our day, but it isn’t. I remember when I was a junior or senior in high school. Don’t ask me how the class got on the subject, but during the class some of the young ladies were sharing what they were looking for in a man. Several shared that they wanted a man “with experience.” You understand what they were saying. This was 40 years ago, but these were not virtuous young ladies. Remember that the first seven chapters of Proverbs have much to say about “strange women,” women whose goals were not godly. But now the subject is a virtuous woman. Who can find one?
So if a man does find a virtuous woman, what has he found? Listen to the last part of verse 10, “For her price is far above rubies.” She is more valuable that the most precious jewels. Prov. 12:4, “A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband…” You may not be a man in high position according to the standards of this world, but you are far better off, because you have found a virtuous woman. Prov. 18:22, “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.” How much more blessed is the man who finds a good wife, a virtuous wife!
Verse 11, “The heart of her husband doeth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.” The NIV states it like this: “The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.” I believe in the context of this passage, this verse is saying that her husband will have no need of gain because his wife is diligent and will prosper him materially. However, let me remind you that the Proverbs can and should be applied beyond the material. Under the old covenant, material prosperity was a sign of God’s blessing, but things are different under the new covenant. In this life, we who are in Christ have been blessed far more than those who came before Christ. We have been blessed with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ (Eph. 1:3). We don’t even have to be concerned with the material things, because we have the promise: “Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you” (Matt. 6:33). If you want to see clearly how the Proverbs have a greater application than the physical, I challenge you to look carefully at Prov. 6:6-11, where Solomon urges us to follow the example of the ant, who diligently stores up food. Does that mean we should store up food? Absolutely not. Why not? Because we must apply the passage in light of the New Testament. The ant gave himself diligently to that which is most important for an ant – food for the winter. But what is most important for the child of God? It isn’t food. We must give ourselves diligently to the eternal things, because that is what is most important to us.
We husbands are blessed with wives, and we don’t have any need of spoil. Because of our relationship with our wives, we don’t have to be looking for something else. That relationship is far more precious than all the riches the world can offer. Nor do we have to be looking for companionship in another. Again, I remind you that the early chapters of Proverbs speak continually to young men about the danger of deceptive women. We have a wife and we find contentment in dwelling with her. We have found someone we can trust.
And that leads us to verse 12, “She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.” Isn’t that beautiful. Again, in the context of this passage, there is a certain material emphasis in this verse, but let me emphasize that the truth of this passage goes far beyond the material benefits a wife can give to a husband. I don’t want to dismiss those benefits. Many of our wives are very careful in the way they purchase things and wise in the way they handle money. Nevertheless, there is a much deeper truth here. Your wife will do you good and not evil all the days of your life.
Let me focus on one area. Men, if you have a faithful wife, you are blessed beyond measure. Some of us live a sheltered life. We forget that the world is full of wives who are not satisfied with the husband they have. They are flirting with other men and looking for greener pastures. It was true in the day these Proverbs were written and it is true today. Wives are divorcing their husbands to marry other men. Do you realize what a blessing it is to have a wife who is faithful to you and not looking for another?
I have to confess that I am a slow learner. It took me a while to fully realize that outside of Christ my wife is my dearest treasure. I don’t use that word “treasure” lightly. Our wives are treasure. Though they would never tell you, how many men are there in this world who would give just about anything to have a wife like you have, a wife who is faithful? Do we realize what a blessing it is to not have to worry about our wife divorcing us, when things don’t go well?
Husbands, when you leave this place this morning, glory in the truth that you are blessed to be married to your wife. Now it is possible that someone here would be thinking, “But my wife isn’t all that great.” If you say that, I suspect you are guilty of playing the comparison game. May God deliver us from that. Your wife may be married to a husband that isn’t all that great either. Thank God for the treasure He has given you.
II. Our Wives Have Precious Qualities
Now let’s look at the bulk of this passage and lump the many qualities of the virtuous woman under three categories – consistent, caring, and compassionate. We will be looking now at verses 13-27.
A. Consistent
First of all, notice the consistency of this woman. We actually have the preview at the end of verse 12, “She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.” Notice that phrase, “all the days of her life.” It’s one thing to do good for her husband for a while, but this speaks of all the days of her life. Week after week and year after year she will consistently do him good.
George, how long have you been married? What about you, Jim? Norman? These men have been married to the same wife longer than many of you have been alive. Let me ask you three? Has your wife done you good all the days of her life?
Don’t misunderstand. This passage is not painting a picture of a perfect wife, a wife that has never done anything wrong, a wife who has never had any lapses. But over the long haul, she has done her husband good. Her husband doesn’t have to look back to twenty years ago to see that; he still sees it today. I have to testify that my wife has done me increasingly good through the years. It’s getting better, not worse.
The rest of this section gives the specifics of her consistency. She is not lazy, but industrious. Go to the end of this section, where we are told in verse 27 that she does not eat the bread of idleness. That is just another way of saying that she isn’t lazy. Verses 13-15, “She seeketh wool and flax and worketh willingly with her hands. She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar. 15. She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens." Men, don’t twist this passage. It doesn’t say that your wife resembles a ship; it says that she brings in food for her family, as a merchant ship brings goods for those who need them. This passage is not saying that your wife is lazy, if she doesn’t rise before daylight. This is simply a testimony of the industry of this wife. Because there is a need to get up early, she is willing to do it. She works willingly with her hands.
When you read through this whole section, you see a picture of great consistency. None of the things she does can be discharged in a day or a week. These are tasks that must be done over and over and over again. We know the saying, “A woman’s work is never done,” and how true it is. That might be a good summary of this principle. I get the idea that this is not a woman who grumbles about her work never being done. Rather, she is glad to be able to serve on a consistent basis.
B. Caring
Not only is this woman consistent, but she is caring. I am talking primarily about her taking care for her husband and children. We have already read in verse 12 that she will do her husband good and not evil all the days of her life. She consistently works diligently. But what is her motive? She cares for her family.
Don’t get so caught up in the specifics that you lose sight of the big picture. The theme here is the way she cares for her family. She does many things that need to be done and that frees her husband to do the things he needs to be doing. He doesn’t have to do those things, because his wife takes care of them.
Look at verses 16-17, "She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. 17. She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms." Now this may seem a bit foreign to us. That is because our culture is very different. This does not mean that a woman must plant a vineyard or a garden to be godly. Most of us would think it a bit strange for our wives to go out and make a deal on a piece of property. In that day, life was much harder physically than in our society today. Her husband may have been out clearing a piece of land from sun up until sundown. Because his work was so demanding, she was able to take care of other things. In that day it was necessary that she strengthen her arms. More physical labor was required of a woman in that society. But her motive was a caring attitude for her family. Her attitude is summed up well by the first part of verse 27, “She looketh well to the ways of her household.”
Look especially at verses 21-24…
She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. 22. She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. 23. Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. 24. She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.
In the face of harsh winters, she makes clothing that will keep them warm and dry. Why? Because she cares for them. Not only is that clothing functional, but it is more. Her husband is known in the gates. “The gates” speaks of the place where the men did business. We might liken it to the courthouse square of days gone by. When her husband showed up there, he was distinguished by what he wore. It wasn’t that his clothing was fancy. Rather, what he wore said that he had a wife who loved him and cared for him. She didn’t just throw something together that would be embarrassing for him to wear. No, she put her heart into it because she wanted the best for the man she loved.
C. Compassionate
We are told in verse 26 that she opens her mouth with wisdom. Not only that, but in her tongue is the law of kindness. Not only does this woman take care of her family, but she speaks to them with kindness. Some translations render it “the teaching of kindness is on her tongue” (NASV; ESV). She is not just kind on occasion, but this is a way of life with her. Kindness comes forth from this woman. Kindness describes her lifestyle. Those who are around her are infected with her kindness; they find themselves dealing in a more kindly manner.
We see also that her compassion goes beyond her family members. Verse 20, “She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.” We might think that taking care of her family in that culture was enough, but not for the virtuous woman. She also had a concern for the poor and needy. But it is a more than a concern, for we see that she stretches out her hand to them. That simply means that she meets their needs. No doubt, she shared food with them and made clothing for them. Her long hours of labor in providing for the family did not blind her to the needs of others.
This is a woman who has a heart of compassion. She is kind in her demeanor and compassionate in her outlook. Such a wife is a great asset to any husband who wants to follow the Lord.
Think of these qualities that characterize the virtuous woman – consistency, caring, compassion. If you are around lots of women who are like this, you may get the idea that this is a picture of women in general. That is not necessarily so. There are plenty of women who are captured with high society, who are slaves to fashion and fads. Husbands, praise God that He has given you a woman who consistently cares for her family and has compassion on others rather than seeking her own glory.
III. Our Wives Are Pursuing Godliness
Now come to the last section of this passage. Let’s read Prov. 31:28-31…
Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. 29. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. 30. Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. 31. Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.
We see here that this virtuous woman is worthy of praise. We will talk more about that in a moment, but first I want you to notice something. Right in the middle of this section which says that she is worthy of praise, one other quality is mentioned. It is in verse 30, “Favor is deceitful and beauty is vain; but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.” Other translations say, “Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised” (NIV). I want to suggest to you this morning that this is the crowning quality of the virtuous woman. Above all else, she fears the Lord.
Again, this does not mean that she is perfect. Nevertheless, she does fear the Lord. She understands that all of life comes from Him and that everything she says, does, and thinks is open to His watchful eye. Ultimately, she has a motive that is even higher than serving her husband and children; her great desire is to serve her Lord and bring glory to His name. Last week we read Col. 3:23-24, "And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; 24. Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ." Yes, this is her goal.
I have titled this point: “Our wives are pursuing godliness.” That is a good description of the woman who fears the Lord. She may not describe herself as godly, but that is her goal. Praise God for wives who long to be conformed to the image of Christ. They aren’t there yet, but they are trusting the Lord to do the work. Though they have ups and downs, their eyes are on the Lord Jesus Christ.
Conclusion
Let’s close with this point: Our wives are worthy to be praised. Those who have been wives are worthy to be praised. Let their children rise up and call their mothers “Blessed.” Let her husband praise her. Her own deeds shall praise her in the sight of man. Give her what she deserves.
Men, may God give us grace to take stock of the treasure He has given us. Are we properly appreciative of our wives? If there is a man who wishes he had a different wife, let him repent of his sin. If there is man who doesn’t believe this description fits his wife, then ask yourself the question: “Am I being a help or a hindrance to my wife becoming more godly?” You can help by treasuring her and praising her for who she is and what she does for you. You can encourage her by seeking the Lord with all your heart. Don’t wait to praise her. Before long, it will be too late. Act now.
Wives and mothers, let me address you briefly. Perhaps you are here this morning and you say to yourself, “I don’t fit that description.” I don’t know you, but the Lord does. I would encourage you to look at your heart more than your deeds. Is your desire to be a godly wife and mother? If so, chances are great that you are a woman who fears the Lord. Don’t let the enemy load you up with guilt because you haven’t reached perfection. On the other hand, if your heart is hard and you are in rebellion against the Lord, then by all means let this passage serve as a reproof and respond with repentance and faith.
Now let’s close our service by blessing our wives and mothers by thanking God for them.
Pray
PRAISE THE LORD FOR GODLY WOMEN
Prov. 31:10-31
I said Wednesday evening that we would be looking at Esau and Jacob this morning. Change of plan. Lord willing, that will be our subject next week (be reading Gen. 25 and 27). But today I am going to take some time to speak about wives. I think it is safe to say that all of you ladies are wives, have been wives, or hope to be wives.
As I was thinking about wives, a couple of possible ideas came to my mind as to how I might approach this subject. We could just look at Genesis 27, which tells us of how Rebekah helped Jacob trick his father into giving the primary blessing to Jacob instead of Esau. We could read the story and then say to you wives, “Don’t be like Rebekah, because she played favorites among her children.” In reality, I don’t know of any of you who have a great struggle with that. I see mothers who love all of their children.
I might follow the lead of a young man I knew. In many ways he was a fine young men, but even the best of young men have a tendency to be foolish at times, and this young man was no exception. I think he was about 17 or 18 at the time, and he had a girlfriend. In his great lack of wisdom, he came up with a plan. And what was the plan? He decided to take Proverbs 31 and evaluate his girlfriend in light of that passage. If I remember right, he gave her a C+. I can’t say that was the reason, but she didn’t marry him. Let me make it clear that I don’t have any report cards up my sleeve.
This morning my primary purpose is not to speak to you wives and mothers, but to speak about you. I will be speaking primarily to the rest of us, especially to us men. I have tried to organize this passage (Prov. 31:10-31) in a way that will help us keep its principles in mind.
So let’s read Prov. 31:10-31…
Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. 11. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. 12. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. 13. She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. 14. She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar. 15. She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. 16. She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. 17. She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. 18. She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night. 19. She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. 20. She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. 21. She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. 22. She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. 23. Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. 24. She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant. 25. Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. 26. She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. 27. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. 28. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. 29. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. 30. Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. 31. Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.
I. Our Wives Are a Treasure
Let’s go back and read again Pr. 31:10-12, "Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. 11. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. 12. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life." Who can find a virtuous woman? We think this is a unique problem in our day, but it isn’t. I remember when I was a junior or senior in high school. Don’t ask me how the class got on the subject, but during the class some of the young ladies were sharing what they were looking for in a man. Several shared that they wanted a man “with experience.” You understand what they were saying. This was 40 years ago, but these were not virtuous young ladies. Remember that the first seven chapters of Proverbs have much to say about “strange women,” women whose goals were not godly. But now the subject is a virtuous woman. Who can find one?
So if a man does find a virtuous woman, what has he found? Listen to the last part of verse 10, “For her price is far above rubies.” She is more valuable that the most precious jewels. Prov. 12:4, “A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband…” You may not be a man in high position according to the standards of this world, but you are far better off, because you have found a virtuous woman. Prov. 18:22, “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.” How much more blessed is the man who finds a good wife, a virtuous wife!
Verse 11, “The heart of her husband doeth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.” The NIV states it like this: “The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.” I believe in the context of this passage, this verse is saying that her husband will have no need of gain because his wife is diligent and will prosper him materially. However, let me remind you that the Proverbs can and should be applied beyond the material. Under the old covenant, material prosperity was a sign of God’s blessing, but things are different under the new covenant. In this life, we who are in Christ have been blessed far more than those who came before Christ. We have been blessed with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ (Eph. 1:3). We don’t even have to be concerned with the material things, because we have the promise: “Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you” (Matt. 6:33). If you want to see clearly how the Proverbs have a greater application than the physical, I challenge you to look carefully at Prov. 6:6-11, where Solomon urges us to follow the example of the ant, who diligently stores up food. Does that mean we should store up food? Absolutely not. Why not? Because we must apply the passage in light of the New Testament. The ant gave himself diligently to that which is most important for an ant – food for the winter. But what is most important for the child of God? It isn’t food. We must give ourselves diligently to the eternal things, because that is what is most important to us.
We husbands are blessed with wives, and we don’t have any need of spoil. Because of our relationship with our wives, we don’t have to be looking for something else. That relationship is far more precious than all the riches the world can offer. Nor do we have to be looking for companionship in another. Again, I remind you that the early chapters of Proverbs speak continually to young men about the danger of deceptive women. We have a wife and we find contentment in dwelling with her. We have found someone we can trust.
And that leads us to verse 12, “She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.” Isn’t that beautiful. Again, in the context of this passage, there is a certain material emphasis in this verse, but let me emphasize that the truth of this passage goes far beyond the material benefits a wife can give to a husband. I don’t want to dismiss those benefits. Many of our wives are very careful in the way they purchase things and wise in the way they handle money. Nevertheless, there is a much deeper truth here. Your wife will do you good and not evil all the days of your life.
Let me focus on one area. Men, if you have a faithful wife, you are blessed beyond measure. Some of us live a sheltered life. We forget that the world is full of wives who are not satisfied with the husband they have. They are flirting with other men and looking for greener pastures. It was true in the day these Proverbs were written and it is true today. Wives are divorcing their husbands to marry other men. Do you realize what a blessing it is to have a wife who is faithful to you and not looking for another?
I have to confess that I am a slow learner. It took me a while to fully realize that outside of Christ my wife is my dearest treasure. I don’t use that word “treasure” lightly. Our wives are treasure. Though they would never tell you, how many men are there in this world who would give just about anything to have a wife like you have, a wife who is faithful? Do we realize what a blessing it is to not have to worry about our wife divorcing us, when things don’t go well?
Husbands, when you leave this place this morning, glory in the truth that you are blessed to be married to your wife. Now it is possible that someone here would be thinking, “But my wife isn’t all that great.” If you say that, I suspect you are guilty of playing the comparison game. May God deliver us from that. Your wife may be married to a husband that isn’t all that great either. Thank God for the treasure He has given you.
II. Our Wives Have Precious Qualities
Now let’s look at the bulk of this passage and lump the many qualities of the virtuous woman under three categories – consistent, caring, and compassionate. We will be looking now at verses 13-27.
A. Consistent
First of all, notice the consistency of this woman. We actually have the preview at the end of verse 12, “She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.” Notice that phrase, “all the days of her life.” It’s one thing to do good for her husband for a while, but this speaks of all the days of her life. Week after week and year after year she will consistently do him good.
George, how long have you been married? What about you, Jim? Norman? These men have been married to the same wife longer than many of you have been alive. Let me ask you three? Has your wife done you good all the days of her life?
Don’t misunderstand. This passage is not painting a picture of a perfect wife, a wife that has never done anything wrong, a wife who has never had any lapses. But over the long haul, she has done her husband good. Her husband doesn’t have to look back to twenty years ago to see that; he still sees it today. I have to testify that my wife has done me increasingly good through the years. It’s getting better, not worse.
The rest of this section gives the specifics of her consistency. She is not lazy, but industrious. Go to the end of this section, where we are told in verse 27 that she does not eat the bread of idleness. That is just another way of saying that she isn’t lazy. Verses 13-15, “She seeketh wool and flax and worketh willingly with her hands. She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar. 15. She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens." Men, don’t twist this passage. It doesn’t say that your wife resembles a ship; it says that she brings in food for her family, as a merchant ship brings goods for those who need them. This passage is not saying that your wife is lazy, if she doesn’t rise before daylight. This is simply a testimony of the industry of this wife. Because there is a need to get up early, she is willing to do it. She works willingly with her hands.
When you read through this whole section, you see a picture of great consistency. None of the things she does can be discharged in a day or a week. These are tasks that must be done over and over and over again. We know the saying, “A woman’s work is never done,” and how true it is. That might be a good summary of this principle. I get the idea that this is not a woman who grumbles about her work never being done. Rather, she is glad to be able to serve on a consistent basis.
B. Caring
Not only is this woman consistent, but she is caring. I am talking primarily about her taking care for her husband and children. We have already read in verse 12 that she will do her husband good and not evil all the days of her life. She consistently works diligently. But what is her motive? She cares for her family.
Don’t get so caught up in the specifics that you lose sight of the big picture. The theme here is the way she cares for her family. She does many things that need to be done and that frees her husband to do the things he needs to be doing. He doesn’t have to do those things, because his wife takes care of them.
Look at verses 16-17, "She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. 17. She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms." Now this may seem a bit foreign to us. That is because our culture is very different. This does not mean that a woman must plant a vineyard or a garden to be godly. Most of us would think it a bit strange for our wives to go out and make a deal on a piece of property. In that day, life was much harder physically than in our society today. Her husband may have been out clearing a piece of land from sun up until sundown. Because his work was so demanding, she was able to take care of other things. In that day it was necessary that she strengthen her arms. More physical labor was required of a woman in that society. But her motive was a caring attitude for her family. Her attitude is summed up well by the first part of verse 27, “She looketh well to the ways of her household.”
Look especially at verses 21-24…
She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. 22. She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. 23. Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. 24. She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.
In the face of harsh winters, she makes clothing that will keep them warm and dry. Why? Because she cares for them. Not only is that clothing functional, but it is more. Her husband is known in the gates. “The gates” speaks of the place where the men did business. We might liken it to the courthouse square of days gone by. When her husband showed up there, he was distinguished by what he wore. It wasn’t that his clothing was fancy. Rather, what he wore said that he had a wife who loved him and cared for him. She didn’t just throw something together that would be embarrassing for him to wear. No, she put her heart into it because she wanted the best for the man she loved.
C. Compassionate
We are told in verse 26 that she opens her mouth with wisdom. Not only that, but in her tongue is the law of kindness. Not only does this woman take care of her family, but she speaks to them with kindness. Some translations render it “the teaching of kindness is on her tongue” (NASV; ESV). She is not just kind on occasion, but this is a way of life with her. Kindness comes forth from this woman. Kindness describes her lifestyle. Those who are around her are infected with her kindness; they find themselves dealing in a more kindly manner.
We see also that her compassion goes beyond her family members. Verse 20, “She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.” We might think that taking care of her family in that culture was enough, but not for the virtuous woman. She also had a concern for the poor and needy. But it is a more than a concern, for we see that she stretches out her hand to them. That simply means that she meets their needs. No doubt, she shared food with them and made clothing for them. Her long hours of labor in providing for the family did not blind her to the needs of others.
This is a woman who has a heart of compassion. She is kind in her demeanor and compassionate in her outlook. Such a wife is a great asset to any husband who wants to follow the Lord.
Think of these qualities that characterize the virtuous woman – consistency, caring, compassion. If you are around lots of women who are like this, you may get the idea that this is a picture of women in general. That is not necessarily so. There are plenty of women who are captured with high society, who are slaves to fashion and fads. Husbands, praise God that He has given you a woman who consistently cares for her family and has compassion on others rather than seeking her own glory.
III. Our Wives Are Pursuing Godliness
Now come to the last section of this passage. Let’s read Prov. 31:28-31…
Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. 29. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. 30. Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. 31. Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.
We see here that this virtuous woman is worthy of praise. We will talk more about that in a moment, but first I want you to notice something. Right in the middle of this section which says that she is worthy of praise, one other quality is mentioned. It is in verse 30, “Favor is deceitful and beauty is vain; but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.” Other translations say, “Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised” (NIV). I want to suggest to you this morning that this is the crowning quality of the virtuous woman. Above all else, she fears the Lord.
Again, this does not mean that she is perfect. Nevertheless, she does fear the Lord. She understands that all of life comes from Him and that everything she says, does, and thinks is open to His watchful eye. Ultimately, she has a motive that is even higher than serving her husband and children; her great desire is to serve her Lord and bring glory to His name. Last week we read Col. 3:23-24, "And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; 24. Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ." Yes, this is her goal.
I have titled this point: “Our wives are pursuing godliness.” That is a good description of the woman who fears the Lord. She may not describe herself as godly, but that is her goal. Praise God for wives who long to be conformed to the image of Christ. They aren’t there yet, but they are trusting the Lord to do the work. Though they have ups and downs, their eyes are on the Lord Jesus Christ.
Conclusion
Let’s close with this point: Our wives are worthy to be praised. Those who have been wives are worthy to be praised. Let their children rise up and call their mothers “Blessed.” Let her husband praise her. Her own deeds shall praise her in the sight of man. Give her what she deserves.
Men, may God give us grace to take stock of the treasure He has given us. Are we properly appreciative of our wives? If there is a man who wishes he had a different wife, let him repent of his sin. If there is man who doesn’t believe this description fits his wife, then ask yourself the question: “Am I being a help or a hindrance to my wife becoming more godly?” You can help by treasuring her and praising her for who she is and what she does for you. You can encourage her by seeking the Lord with all your heart. Don’t wait to praise her. Before long, it will be too late. Act now.
Wives and mothers, let me address you briefly. Perhaps you are here this morning and you say to yourself, “I don’t fit that description.” I don’t know you, but the Lord does. I would encourage you to look at your heart more than your deeds. Is your desire to be a godly wife and mother? If so, chances are great that you are a woman who fears the Lord. Don’t let the enemy load you up with guilt because you haven’t reached perfection. On the other hand, if your heart is hard and you are in rebellion against the Lord, then by all means let this passage serve as a reproof and respond with repentance and faith.
Now let’s close our service by blessing our wives and mothers by thanking God for them.
Pray
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