"Encouragement for Parents" -- 11/23/08

Sunday, November 23, 2008

ENCOURAGMENT FOR PARENTS

The first command God ever gave to a human being was: “Be fruitful and multiply.” Adam and Eve brought forth children for the glory of God. Children were totally God’s idea. They were born at His command and as a result of His creative power. But the blessing we receive along the way is no small thing. How God has blessed us, even as He says in His Word: “Children are an heritage of the Lord, and the fruit of the womb is his reward” (Ps. 127:3). Look around you this morning. We are praising God for the blessing of children.

With those children comes a precious privilege and an awesome responsibility. We are not only blessed to participate with God in the creation of these children, but we are equally blessed to participate with Him in the raising of those same children. On the surface, we might even get the idea that the main responsibility is ours. God tells us clearly, “Train up a child in the way that he should go…” (Prov. 22:6).

This morning Tracy and Lindsay are reminded again of that precious privilege and awesome responsibility of raising up a godly seed for the glory of God, but they are not alone. Many of you parents are still in the process of raising your children. Many others are grandparents, and we have the privilege of praying for those children and grandchildren who are currently raising their families. Others are praying faithfully for parents in this congregation. Praise God that we can all work together. What greater task is there than raising godly children? Recently one of you fathers said something like this: “I don’t care if I never do anything else, if I can just raise my children to know Jesus.” I say “Amen” to that.

Very briefly this morning I want to give us a brief reminder and a word of encouragement from two passages of scripture…

I. Deuteronomy 6:1-9

Let’s read Deut. 6:1-9…
Now these are the commandments, the statutes, and the judgments, which the LORD your God commanded to teach you, that ye might do them in the land whither ye go to possess it: 2. That thou mightest fear the LORD thy God, to keep all his statutes and his commandments, which I command thee, thou, and thy son, and thy son's son, all the days of thy life; and that thy days may be prolonged. 3. Hear therefore, O Israel, and observe to do it; that it may be well with thee, and that ye may increase mightily, as the LORD God of thy fathers hath promised thee, in the land that floweth with milk and honey. 4. Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God is one LORD: 5. And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. 6. And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: 7. And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. 8. And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. 9. And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.

We know this passage well, so I am not going to review all the details. Let’s come right to the subject matter before us. We read in verse 7 that parents are commanded to “teach them diligently” to their children. Teach what? Primarily the great truths summarized in verses 4-5, “The Lord our God is one Lord. And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.” And how do you teach those truths to your children? You talk with them about those things. No, you don’t do it just by having a designated period of time when you set them down and teach them. Rather, you teach them throughout the day, throughout the various experiences of life, from morning until evening. In other words, you relate these truths to every area of life. And you keep these same truths before their eyes. In other words, they are to hear it and see it – “The Lord our God is one Lord, and you shall love Him with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.” Parents are responsible for giving them continual audible and visible reminders of these precious truths.

Are we all clear on that? You parents must creatively instill these truths into your children. This is not a responsibility you can discharge and check off the box. There is a sense in which you will never quite get done. You aren’t doing it to get done; you are doing it to bring glory to the God who loaned you those children. You must do everything in His power (your power is woefully insufficient) to bless your children with these truths.

At this point, I hope many of you are aware that although what I have said is true, I have left out something very important. As a matter of fact, it could be argued that I have left out the most important thing of all. And what is it? It is verse 6, “And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart.” But why is that so important? If they are not in your heart, you cannot expect to instill them into the hearts of your children. If the dearest thing in your life is not love of the Lord, you are fighting a losing battle. And I’m not talking about a warm feeling. I am talking about that love that has a deep affection and is demonstrated by obedience to Him. The bottom line is that your children, whether conscious of it or not, may know better than you whether you really love the Lord with all your heart. Even if you fool yourself, you won’t fool them. What a time to pray, “Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my thoughts, and see if there be some wicked way in me; and lead me in the way everlasting.”

Let me illustrate my point. Many of you home school. At first glance, we might think that the best home school teacher would be the smartest person. That is not necessarily the case. Or maybe it is the person who made the best grades in school. No, not necessarily. Or maybe the best home school teacher is the one who has been a school teacher in public or private schools. Perhaps that is helpful, but it by no means settles the issue. The truth is that it is possible for the smartest, best educated person in the world to do poorly at homeschooling. Why is that? While these and other assets may be valuable, there is something far more important. What? A deep love and devotion for those children that is rooted in love for the Lord. It is that devotion that will enable that home school teacher, when she is ready to throw in the towel, to come to the Lord with a broken heart and draw from Him life and strength that is found nowhere else.

So it is with instilling God’s greatest truths in the lives of our children. The best methodology in the world can never substitute for these things being in your own heart. Some of us parents who are aware of our tendency to fail in this area cling to the scripture, “Love covers a multitude of sins.” What we must remember is that our love for our children must be rooted in unwavering love for the Lord.

Now go back up to verses 1-2…
Now these are the commandments, the statutes, and the judgments, which the LORD your God commanded to teach you, that ye might do them in the land whither ye go to possess it: 2. That thou mightest fear the LORD thy God, to keep all his statutes and his command-ments, which I command thee, thou, and thy son, and thy son's son, all the days of thy life; and that thy days may be prolonged.

Notice that there are three generations listed here in verse 2 – you, your children, and your grandchildren. When you are training your children, you are looking beyond them, because they will be training their children as well. The time will come when it will be their responsibility to audibly and visibly keep these great truths before their children, creatively instilling them in their hearts and minds. Of course, just as is true for you, they will not be able to do this unless these truths are in their hearts, unless they truly love the Lord with everything they are.

Now please hear me carefully, parents. You can train your children. You can teach them the Bible. You can bring them to all the meetings here. I encourage you to do both. But the time will come when your children move out on their own. You will no longer be able to keep these truths before them audibly and visibly, as you were when they were living with you. If they are going to raise their children in the manner of Deut. 6, something has to take place. The audible and visible training must have taken root deep within the heart. It will not be enough for them to just repeat what you have given them. “Mom and Dad taught me these scriptures, so I will teach them to my children.” No, that won’t do. The key issue is the heart.

So what is the greatest key that will unlock their hearts, that will insure that the things you audibly and visibly teach them will take root in their hearts? I don’t want to oversimplify, but there is clearly one thing that is more important than anything else. The greatest key is your love for God, that you yourself love Him with all your heart, soul, and strength. So am I saying that if you do that, it doesn’t matter how well you do in training your child? No, that is not what I am saying. As a matter of fact, as you love the Lord with all your heart, soul, and strength, you will be empowered to do the best possible job of training your children and instilling these things in their heart. On the other hand, don’t expect these truths to take root as a result of outward training, when you yourself are not sold out to loving Him with everything in you.

II. I Corinthians 7:14

Please turn to I Corinthians 7. Some of you will recognize this chapter immediately as being about marriage. Though the passage is about marriage, in the last couple of months there is a verse that has come up in my conversations with others more than once, and it deals with children. In order to get the context, we need to read I Cor. 7:12-16…
But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. 13. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. 14. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. 15. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. 16. For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?

In verse 12, Paul is not saying that what he is writing is not from God, that he is not directed by the Holy Spirit. He is simply saying that the Lord Jesus did not talk about this particular issue when He walked on the earth. Having made that clear, Paul then begins to talk about what we might refer to as a mixed marriage. In other words, one of the partners is a Christian and the other is not.

So how does that happen? It can happen in one of two ways. I think the most common way it happened there in Corinth was along these lines. Here is a married couple. Paul comes to Corinth and begins to proclaim the gospel of Jesus Christ. The Lord works in the husband and he responds to the gospel. The wife does not. So now the husband is a believer and his wife is not. That still happens today. A number of you have experienced that very situation. On the other hand, it can happen that a believer marries an unbeliever. That shouldn’t happen, but it does. In his second letter to the Corinthians, Paul makes it very clear that this is wrong. “Be not unequally yoked together with unbelievers; for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness?” (II Cor. 6:14). While this may refer to other practices, the primary reference is to marriage. There are some of you here who did that very thing; you married an unbeliever. It is not my purpose to condemn you, but we must be clear that this practice is sin and it has serious consequences. Even if you disobeyed the Lord in this area years ago, if you haven’t repented and received His forgiveness, you need to do so now.

But what about that marriage union – the believer and the unbeliever? Regardless of how it came about, what must be done about it? Paul says clearly that if the unbeliever is willing to remain in the marriage, the believer must not leave. This is as true of believing husband and unbelieving wife, as it is of believing wife and unbelieving husband. Let no Christian ever divorce a spouse because he or she does not follow the Lord, because he or she doesn’t seem interested in spiritual things, or because he or she is ugly, mean, and impossible to live with. If the unbelieving spouse is content to remain in the marriage, the believer must do the same. God’s instructions are very clear.

But why? Why should a believer remain married to an unbeliever? Isn’t that difficult? Yes, it can be very difficult. Then why would the Lord require such a thing, especially if the believer came to know the Lord after they were married. It isn’t her fault that her husband rejects the gospel? Why should she have to endure it? Doesn’t the Lord say, “What fellowship has righteousness with unrighteousness?” Surely God must have a very good reason.

The greatest reason is because marriage is sacred. It was instituted by God and it should not be trampled on by those who have been entrusted with it. But here in I Cor. 7, Paul also gives us a very down-to-earth, practical reason for the believer to remain in the marriage. That reason is found in verse 14, “For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband…” That is, the unbelieving spouse is made holy by the believing spouse. The one who is not a Christian is set apart by the fact that his or her spouse is a Christian.

But what does this mean? Does that mean that the unbelieving husband is saved, that he has a relationship with God because his wife is a believer? No, it definitely does not mean that. Paul makes that clear. He concedes in verse 15 that if the unbeliever does not want to remain in the marriage and wants to depart, then let him go. But in verse 16 he comes back to the mixed marriage again. Verse 16, "For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?" Paul isn’t saying that a human being has the power to save another. He is simply saying that the testimony of the unbelieving spouse may lead the salvation of the other. But if you leave your unbelieving spouse, then he will not have the benefit of your testimony. So we see clearly that the unbelieving spouse is not saved, is not a child of God, because he or she is married to a Christian. That is the goal, but that may or may not become a reality. Nevertheless, the unbelieving spouse is sanctified, made holy, set apart by the believing spouse.

So if it doesn’t mean he is saved, then what does it mean? Before we answer, we need to read all of verse 14 again. "For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy." Now Paul gives us some clue as to what he means when he says the unbelieving spouse is sanctified by the other. It is like the situation with your children. If there wasn’t this sanctifying effect, then your own children would be unclean. But that is not the case. They are holy. The word “holy” is the same basic word as “sanctify,” being the adjectival form instead of the verbal form. So as Christian parents sanctify their children, so the believer sanctifies the unbelieving spouse.

Christian parent, did you know that your children are sanctified by you? Isn’t that comforting to know? No, it doesn’t mean they are saved, that they are children of God. They are not children of God. They were born sinners as much as any person who ever entered this world. Your relationship with God does not change that fact. So what value is there in your children being sanctified? How does your relationship with God set them apart?

Notice that there is nothing here about anything the parents have to do. Though we rejoice to join Tracy and Lindsay in dedicating their baby to the Lord, this act does not in itself make this child holy. He was holy, sanctified, set apart, from the very time he was born. How so? Simply because his parents are saints, possessing the Holy Spirit of God. He is sanctified in the same way that the unbelieving spouse is sanctified.

But what advantage is there for the child of Christian parents? Now we are getting down to heart of the issue. This is the essence of our children being holy; they have been given great advantage. Even if a child has just one believing parent, he has something very unique that other children to not have. He has a parent or parents who love the Lord and through whom the Lord’s love can be poured out. She has parents who can live out the reality of Christ before her and teach her the truth about God and His dear Son. In that sense, the child is holy. He is set apart to Christian parents. As the unbelieving spouse has the privilege of seeing Christ in the believer (whether he appreciates it or not), the child has the privilege of seeing Christ in his parents. May we never take that lightly.

And what is the goal? The goal is the same for the child as for the unbelieving spouse, that he or she may be “saved,” may come into a vital relationship with God through His Son. I must clarify. Remember that the goal of salvation is more than just “being saved.” God brings us salvation in order that we might live for His glory. That is what our goal is for our children. There is a greater likelihood of that happening because this child has been set apart. When God put your children in your home, He set them apart, giving you the precious privilege and awesome responsibility of modeling for them the character of God and the person of His Son. As you think about it, do you realize what a great responsibility this is. To whom much is given much is required. Most of the children in this world do not have even one Christian parent. Millions of children have parents who go to church and are Christian in name, but they don’t know the Lord. What a responsibility is yours. But don’t miss the fact that your responsibility is also a great privilege. Imagine it – cooperating with God to raise them in a way that they will ultimately bring great glory to the Lord you love. Praise God for His wonderful plan.

Conclusion

Let’s conclude this morning by praying for our children and praying for their parents. A child can have no greater blessing in life than parents who truly love the Lord and demonstrate to their children what that really means. And listen to the blessing for the parent: "I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth." (3 John 4).