Reversing the Curse -- Eph 5; I Tim. 2 -- 7/20/08

Sunday, July 20, 2008

THE CURSE REVERSED
Eph. 5:22-33; I Tim. 2:13-15

Last week we considered God’s curse on the woman. Remember that this curse is in addition to the general consequences of sin that came upon all people. Because of Adam’s sin, sin and death came upon the entire human race. Nevertheless, in Genesis 3 we find some very specific curses pronounced by God – upon the serpent and Satan, upon the woman, and upon the man. As we discussed last week, those curses have a far-reaching application. Women are still affected by that simple but powerful curse found in Gen. 3:16, "Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee."

That curse hits a woman very hard. Why? Because it strikes at the heart of the home, and the home is the woman’s domain. That’s the way God designed it from the very beginning. Now it is true that there are some women who do not marry and others who marry but do not have children. And let it be said that God calls some women to be single for His glory. Nevertheless, marriage and family are the norm for women. For many years a woman’s life is wrapped up in her husband and children. The curse of Gen. 3:16 affects both of those relationships.

As we saw last week, with regard to children, the curse manifests itself in childbirth and continues from there. Not only does it involve intense physical pain, but it continues with extreme emotional pain as well. And then there is the marriage relationship, designed to be the most intimate and fulfilling of all human relationships. But then God says, “And your desire shall be to your husband, and he shall rule over you.” The woman has a great desire for a man, even though that man may not treat her right. A comparison with Genesis 4:7 suggests that the woman also has a desire to control her man. While the man was given authority over the woman from the creation, now that authority is expressed in the term “rule.” As history has revealed, the man would often rule over the woman with an iron, uncaring hand. Add the man’s tendency to dictatorship to the woman’s tendency to try to control and manipulate, and you have the marital conflict that we have seen down through history and still see today. In short, the woman is cursed in that she is not only a sinner herself, but she is married to a sinner and is continually giving birth to more little sinners. That is the nature of the curse.

We must understand that the bearing of children was not a curse. That was God’s plan from the beginning, for He had told them to be fruitful and multiply. The curse was in the pain and sorrow that would accompany the bearing and raising of those children. What was intended as a great blessing became a curse. And why was that? It was because of the woman’s sin. Because she refused to remain under the leadership of her husband and demanded to be independent, her very desire became a curse. And so it was with the marriage. What was intended to be the most fulfilling human relationship received a curse that would subject it to great agony and conflict.

Praise God that the story doesn’t end with the curse. As there was a blessing for mankind within the curse upon Satan, so there is a blessing beyond the curse upon the woman. Yes, God pronounced the curse, but He had already set in motion a way to reverse the curse. And that is what we want to consider this morning – “Reversing the Curse.”

I. Reversing the Curse in Marriage

Is there any married couple here that can testify that you have never had any conflicts in your marriage? I didn’t have to worry about someone raising his or her hand. If a husband had raised his hand, the look on his wife’s face would have exposed him as a liar. The same would have been true if the wife had raised her hand. The truth is that in every marriage there is or has been conflict. Of course, we could make a case for saying that conflict is healthy, if handled right. But wouldn’t it be better to say that it is the proper handling of the conflict that is healthy, not the conflict itself. Had there been no sin in the garden, there would have been no conflict in marriage. Adam and Eve would have related day in and day out with no anger toward one another, no resentment, no jealousy, etc. But because of sin and the curse, marriages experience conflict. One result of that conflict is the fact that about half of the marriages in this country end in divorce.

Let us be reminded that there is hope for marriage. While the relationship between men and women is under the curse of God, the God who pronounced the curse gives us hope. Since it is God who cursed the woman, then surely it is God who has the solution. There is no other. We have proven it in this society. With all the counselors, psychologists, and psychiatrists feverishly working to deal with marriages, what has been the result. The divorce rate remains extremely high, the marriages that remain together are often plagued with turmoil, and many people have chosen to simply live together without marriage. The world has no solution. Praise God that He does have a solution and He has revealed it in the Bible.

Come to Ephesians 5, the classic biblical passage on marriage. Don’t worry – we are not in danger of wearing this passage out. For those who are married, it will be our refuge until Jesus comes. Let’s read it again. Eph. 5:22-33..
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. 25. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26. That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27. That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. 28. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 29. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: 30. For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. 31. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. 32. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

You wives who are under the curse, submit yourselves to your own husbands, as unto the Lord. You were cursed with a desire for your husband. You need your husband, though there may have been times when you wished you didn’t. And you find that there are times when you do not like the way he rules over you. You resent the fact that God put you under him. You would like to take the reins. Surely you couldn’t do any worse than he has done. To you who are under the curse, the Lord says: “Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands, as to the Lord.”

But why? Because it is through the truth of this passage that the curse is reversed. Here in Eph. 5 we see the ideal picture of marriage. It is a marriage composed of a woman who lovingly submits herself to her own husband. It isn’t always easy, but she recognizes that it is really about submission to her Lord. She can’t submit to Jesus Christ and not submit to her husband, any more than a man can love God and hate his brother. She recognizes that God has designed her husband to be her head – her deliverer, her protector, her provider. She also realizes that as she submits to her husband, she is painting for the world around her a picture of the church and how it is in submission to Jesus Christ.

At the same time, she is married to a man who is not free to rule as he sees fit. No, he is under command of Christ to love his wife as Christ loved the church. Wives, wouldn’t you like to be married to a man like that? You are! The Lord is saying to your husband, “Love your wife like Christ loves His church.” Some of you say, “But he doesn’t love me like Christ loved the church.” No, he doesn’t. And could I be bold enough to say that you don’t submit to him as God designed the church to submit to Christ. Nevertheless, the Lord lays out the ideal for both husband and wife. As a husband and wife give themselves unselfishly to live out this passage, the curse is reversed. Though things are not perfect, there is love and joy and peace in that home. Respect and appreciation are obvious in both the husband and the wife. The husband is quick to admit that he hasn’t arrived, as is his wife.

But I must make something very clear. This solution is available for the child of God, for the one who is in Christ. Just as the solution for the sin that was introduced at the fall is only in Jesus Christ, so the only way to reverse the curse upon the woman (and the family) is found in Christ. It is very easy to demonstrate this truth. Just read the context. Eph. 5:22-33 is in a larger context. After these instructions to the wife and husband, Paul then speaks to children about honoring their parents, to parents about raising their children, and finally to slaves and masters about their mutual relationship in Christ. The whole section from 5:22-6:9 is about relationships. But that too is in a context. These proper relationships occur as a result of something else. That something else is found in 5:18, “And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess, but be filled with the Spirit.” Literally, “Keep on being filled with the Spirit.” Unless a person is controlled by the Holy Spirit of God, he or she cannot fulfill the godly roles in these relationships. It is an absolute impossibility. If you don’t believe it, I issue this challenge to any wife here: Use your own will and determination and submit to your husband with a gentle spirit and without resentment.

Some of you may be thinking, “Pastor, when you talk about all the conflict in marriage and about how the curse has made it so bad, I don’t understand that. We have a good marriage and find great joy in it.” Praise God! I am not disputing that. What you must understand is that it is because of Jesus Christ. It is very rare to find “a good marriage” among those who do not know Christ. And even in that marriage is “good” in the eyes of the world, it can never be what it is intended to be.

Isn’t it amazing how God can indeed reverse the curse as he brings us into a relationship with Jesus Christ. If we could live for a month with a married couple who doesn’t know Christ, we would have a greater appreciation for what God has done and is doing in us.

If you are Christians and are not finding this curse reversal in your own marriage, this passage offers you great hope. Will you rely upon your own experience or upon the Word of God? If you feel like your marriage is a failure, then confess your own failure. You have proven what is humanly possible and humanly impossible. Now pray that by the grace of God you will allow Him to demonstrate what He can do in your marriage. He has already given you the outline right here in Ephesians 5. Brothers and sisters, may we continue to pray for one another in this area. No one has arrived, but we are pressing on with rejoicing for the glory of God. If we are seeking God in our marriages, then the best days are yet to come, and it doesn’t matter how old we are.

II. Reversing the Curse with Regard to Children

You will notice that I did not say “reversing the curse of children.” Children are not a curse; they are a blessing. That is the way God intended it from the beginning. But because of Eve’s sin, God brought a curse that goes along with the bearing and raising of children. Let’s read it again: Gen 3:16, "Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children…”

Some of you ladies might be thinking: “So why has God not removed the labor pains of bearing children? Surely if God wanted to reverse the curse, that would be a great place to start, but I see no reversal of that curse.” As far as I know, you are absolutely right. Best we can tell, a woman today (even a godly woman) has as much pain as ever in childbirth. But again, let me remind you that this is exactly what we should expect, because it parallels the situation with sin and death. Rom. 5:12, "Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned." Rom. 6:23, “For the wages of sin is death…” So when a person is reconciled to God through Jesus Christ, is the sentence of death reversed? Yes, and no. Jesus tells us that anyone who believes on the One who sent Him has everlasting life; that person has passed from death to life (John 5:24). So will that person who has put his trust in Christ die physically? Yes, he will. Though God has reversed the sentence of death, the reversal is spiritual. The man or woman will still die physically. It is the same way with the pain of bearing and raising children. Yes, there is still great physical pain, but there is a reversal of the curse for the woman who is trusting the Lord. The reversal of the curse is in the spiritual realm rather than the physical.

Let’s come back to that verse we read last week from John 16:21, "A woman when she is in travail hath sorrow, because her hour is come: but as soon as she is delivered of the child, she remembereth no more the anguish, for joy that a man is born into the world." Even in this, I believe we find more than a hint that the curse is going to be reversed through Christ. Isn’t Jesus looking beyond the curse? Oh yes, it’s true that the mother is delighted to have delivered her baby. There is a great excitement. But here I believe that Jesus is speaking of a deeper joy that is based on more than the excitement of the moment.

Think about the prospects of raising children in this wicked world. Of course, we often emphasize how bad it is today compared to the past, but the world has been exceedingly wicked since the fall. Remember that a wicked ruler sought to kill Jesus shortly after his birth, just as was the case with Moses hundreds of years before that. There are plenty of logical reasons for a mother to greatly fear for the child she brings into this world. Will he be delivered safely? Will he have some birth defect, some permanent disability? Even when he is little, Mom will have to watch him carefully because of all the wickedness in the world. She doesn’t want him to be abused or kidnapped. She will have to guard him concerning what he sees and hears in this world. At times it will be like tiptoeing through a mine field. And what if he grows up and does not respect his parents? What if he becomes a criminal or adopts an alternative lifestyle? What if he has to go to Iraq or some situation that is even worse? Could a mother think of all those things? Fifteen minutes will be enough time for her to explore all those possibilities and more.

Yet Jesus speaks of a great joy in bringing a child into the world. Is it not because the mom Jesus is picturing is one who trusts the Lord with all her heart? Surely He is thinking of the mom who would read Psalm 127 and praise the Lord. Psalm 127…

Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the LORD
keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain. 2. It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he giveth his beloved sleep. 3. Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. 4. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. 5. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.

Now please come with me to I Tim. 2. We want to focus on the last verse, but let’s just read the whole chapter. I Tim. 2:1-15…
I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men; 2. For kings, and for all that are in authority; that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and honesty. 3. For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Saviour; 4. Who will have all men to be saved, and to come unto the knowledge of the truth. 5. For there is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus; 6. Who gave himself a ransom for all, to be testified in due time. 7. Whereunto I am ordained a preacher, and an apostle, (I speak the truth in Christ, and lie not;) a teacher of the Gentiles in faith and verity. 8. I will therefore that men pray every where, lifting up holy hands, without wrath and doubting. 9. In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; 10. But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works. 11. Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. 12. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. 13. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. 14. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. 15. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.

We obviously are not going to try to cover this whole passage this morning. However, it is clear that in the latter part of this chapter Paul is dealing with the relationship between women and men in the context of the church. In that context, he makes it clear that God designed men to lead the church, just as he designed the husband to lead the family. Paul states emphatically that he will not permit a woman to teach nor take the authority over the man. While some will say this was only true for Ephesus, where Timothy was at the time, that view is very difficult to reconcile with what Paul says in verses 13-14. There he reminds us that Adam was formed first and then Eve. That does not mean that man is superior to woman, but it does say something about order, headship, and design. Then in verse 14 Paul further reminds us that it wasn’t Adam who was deceived, but it was Eve. Does that mean that the woman is morally and spiritually inferior to the man? Not at all. As a matter of fact, we are told in Rom. 5:12 that sin and death entered the world through one man. Then in 5:14 he specifically refers to Adam’s transgression. Eve isn’t even mentioned. The primary weight of the fall was on Adam’s shoulders. Why? Because he was given the greater responsibility, in addition to the fact that God gave the command directly to Adam.

Then why is Paul so hard on the woman? While she did not sin in the same way Adam did, she did indeed transgress. Her transgression was two-fold. First, she disobeyed the command of God, which she knew through Adam. Secondly, she violated God’s designed order. Rather than deferring to Adam, she acted independently. As one writer puts it…
…Woman who is designed by God to be under a head and a leader and a helper and a protector and a savior, when she stepped out on her own and acted independently of the headship of Adam, when she acted without his leadership, without his counsel, without his protection, she became vulnerable. And it is inherent in the nature of woman that she should not find herself in that position of ultimate responsibility. For woman has a deceivability when out from under the headship of a man. (MacArthur; sermon on II Tim. 2:12-15)

Both the man and the woman are guilty, but their guilt came about in different ways. Eve acted independently of the man she was designed to follow. Adam, on the other hand, submitted to the woman he was intended to lead. We have been reaping the results ever since. What we see revealed in this passage is a timeless principle rather than a temporary cultural consideration. If these were intended only for the Ephesian situation, surely Paul would not have taken his argument all the way back to creation and the fall.

Having said all that, it is still obvious that the woman bears a great deal of responsibility. But does she deserve to be in subjection to the man, even in the church of God? Does not Paul say in Gal. 3:28 that there is neither male nor female in Christ? Indeed, he does, and he means it. Praise God that there is no superiority and inferiority in Christ, for all are one in Him. Nevertheless, the spiritual equality of males and females does not eliminate the roles God has given them. Women still have babies and men don’t. And, as Paul states here, it is still the men who lead the church and not the women.

Now we come to verse 15. So does the woman have a role? Is her only role in life to submit? Isn’t there anything she can do? 1 Tim. 2:15, "Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety." Though this verse has been given various interpretations, let’s not be afraid to look at it, for it is a precious promise. It obviously doesn’t mean that a woman will be saved from sin when she bears a child. The word translated “save” can certainly mean salvation from sin, but it can also refer “to deliver” or “rescue” in a sense other than ultimate salvation (and is so used in the New Testament; For an example, see Matt. 9:21). Nor does it mean that if she is godly, her physical pain will be lessened during delivery of a child. Some have seen it as a reference to the birth of Christ, but there doesn’t seem to be anything in the context to lead to such a conclusion.

The word “she” seems to be the generic term for a woman in general. And then in the second part of the verse the “she” kind of melts into “they,” making it clear that Paul is speaking of women and not just one woman. Notice that women shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and love and holiness with sobriety (or self-control). Paul is making a promise to godly women. It is a promise that may be claimed by the woman who trusts God and follows the Lord Jesus. If she lives this kind of life, then she will be delivered from the stigma of contributing so greatly to the fall of mankind. She will be delivered from the hopelessness of having no role to play in God’s plan. For, as she continues to live a life of faith and love and holiness, she will raise a godly seed that will bring honor to her Lord. God has so designed it that it is the mother who spends the most time with young children, nurtures them, and sets the course of their direction. She has a relationship with that child that we fathers know nothing about. Such mothers will bear and raise the men who will be godly leaders in His church.

It is here that we see the reversing of the curse with respect to children. As she trusts the Lord, she is delivered from the fears that plague a mother who brings a child into this world. Instead of fearing, she claims the promise of Psalm 91. Ps. 91:1-2, "He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. 2. I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust." This attitude leads her to faith, love, and holiness. And then she has the promise of Ps. 91:9-10, "Because thou hast made the LORD, which is my refuge, even the most High, thy habitation; 10. There shall no evil befall thee, neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling." Though the world is full of wickedness and corruption, it won’t come near her door, because she is abiding in her Lord, even as she nurtures her children.

So the godly woman finds great joy and blessing in her role as wife and mother. Her role is no less important than the role of those men who lead the church. Roles for men and women are different; not greater or lesser. Praise God for mothers who take seriously the raising and nurturing of their children. That is not to say that men have no role or even a small role in raising their children, but the role of the mother is unique and powerful.

Listen to this little summary from Pastor John MacArthur…
The pain of childbearing was the punishment for her sin, but the result of bearing children… is the deliverance of the stigma of that sin. Marvelous how God has worked that out. The pain she goes through reminds her of her sin; the result reminds her of God’s restoring grace and puts her back in the place where she makes a positive contribution to the godliness of the next generation. She may have caused a generation to plunge into sin, but she can by being a mother who raises godly children bring a generation to God. (MacArthur, ibid)

I must be quick to say that I am aware that there are some women who will not be mothers. Some will not be wives. As a matter of fact, some shouldn’t be wives, because God has designed them for singleness, according to I Cor. 7. Nevertheless, this is the common role for women, and it is a crucial role. Any man who thinks the role of a mother is easy or unimportant is foolish indeed.

Conclusion

Let me close with an example of a godly wife and mother. We would not know her name were it not for two of her sons. Other than raising children, she did nothing to call attention to herself. When I call her name, you will know nothing about her, until I tell you who her sons were.

This woman was the wife of a pastor and the mother of 19 children. If we were to read the details of the way she raised the children, most of us would think that was way too strict and maybe even harsh. Her pastor husband was away preaching a good deal of the time, leaving her a demanding task. Nevertheless, out of that home came John and Charles Wesley, whom God used to bring revival to England. John Wesley was the founder of the Methodist denomination, which had a different spirit in those times than today. Charles Wesley wrote hundreds of Christian songs, ten of which are in our hymnal. Some of them you will readily recognize…
… O for a Thousand Tongues to Sing
… Hark! the Herald Angels Sing
… Love Divine, All Loves Excelling
… Christ the Lord Is Risen Today
… Jesus, Lover of My Soul

Recently we have gone over the words of another of his hymns, which is entitled “And Can If Be that I Should Gain.”

Praise God that the curse upon the woman and the family is reversed in the Lord Jesus Christ. When Paul speaks of being filled with the Spirit and of living a life of faith and love and holiness, there can be no such life apart from Christ. Religious duty will never produce that kind of life, neither for a woman nor a man. Striving hard to keep the commandments will not produce that kind of life. But our Lord lived that life and died that He might share itwith those who trust Him. To God be all the glory!

Again, it’s all in Christ. Isn’t it beautiful to see that just before the curse of Gen. 3:16, we find in verse 15 the first promise of Christ the Savior! Yes, it’s all in Him!